mistake.

Lesson learned.

regret.

I already feel it. I didn't mean anything I said. Hope in the end you'll understand what I did was for the better.

Wish you nothing but the best.

sometimes.

sometimes, love is just a word.

sometimes, love is just a feeling.

sometimes, words are better left unsaid.

sometimes, feelings are better left unexpressed.

sometimes.

fail part dos.

I thought I figured out a way for people to leave comments, but it's too complicating for people to do so. Still don't think I'll be coming back to this so if you don't have a tumblr, make one! Or you can just be creeper and read my posts on there without me knowing.

alligator.

It's unfortunate that our time has to end like this. You've been good to me but sometimes you just got to move on ya know? We've had our ups and downs but that helped us to build something that nobody can take away. You've satisfied me when I longed for satisfaction. You were there when I needed an ear. I'm pretty sure if I need you again, you'll be waiting with open arms just a click away. Thanks for being yourself and not changing for anybody.

Never to be forgotten, my dear blogspot.

P.S. I found out how people can leave comments on tumblr. Follow me there! See ya later, alligator.

byunson.tumblr.com

indecisive.

Sorry blogspot, I made a tumblr. Nothing against you, but tumblr seriously looks better. The only flaw is that you can't leave comments...no idea why. Perfect for the cousin though. In her words,

ijustmightt: i like how you can't comment people on tumblr

ijustmightt: no one commented me on blogger

ijustmightt: so it made me look like a loser

Comments provide feedback and they also let you know someone's reading it so that you don't feel like you're talking to yourself. But then again people wouldn't go around telling people to read their journal/diary. I don't consider anything that I type out on blogs a secret so I enjoy the feedback.

Maybe I'll keep the both of you. What to do...

beaming.

First post of the new decade. How...exciting.

The past two weeks have been crazy. Feels like it's been over a month since I got back from JH retreat. Time doesn't seem like it wants to move at it's usual pace. Guess that's a good thing since it's break, but I'd like to fast-forward the next year and a half. I miss being able to CHEW. My goodness who knew something so simple could be so valuable in life. I miss solid food. Enough of this soft, easy-to-swallow crap. I need a damn steak.

So yesterday, I was talking with a friend for about 1-2 hours while waiting for other people to meet us up. Who knew guys could have "guy talks" for that long? Anyways, we were just talking catching up on life and of course, girls. (I am keeping my promise on devoting my blog to be about girls.) He's in the awkward stage right now with this girl and I totally knew what he was talking about when he explained to me his situation. Let's get this out of the way, girls know how to play games. I mean us guys know how to play as well don't get me wrong. Simple things such as texting can be a damn game. Various scenarios such as where the guy will send a simple text, the girl will reply with a, long, detailed, cute message. Now, that would get ANY guy excited if it was a girl he had interest in and would most likely text back immediately. Little do some guys know that it's a trap. My friend fell for this trap. He texted her back with a long, detailed, fun message and for the rest of the night, a virgin got more action than his phone in his jean pocket.

What's a guy to do in situations like this? Play it cool that's what. To make yourself feel better, think of the scenarios she could've been in: Phone dying, no reception, text message fail, etc. Life isn't over as well as your chance with that girl. Unless these kinds of situations keep recurring, you have little to worry about. Some girls are easy to read, some girls aren't. Some girls make you work for their attention, some girls are amused by a squirrel. It's a vast universe with millions of stars out there and we're discovering new stars each day. Something so small in the sky, can become something big when you start getting closer to it.

I see a small star at the moment. I don't know how big it will be or if I want to start moving in it's direction...but one thing I do know, is that that little star probably has another little star friend next to it. "Daddy's home." I'll leave that for another day and another post. I'll finish with my favorite song at the moment.

Lupe Fiasco - I'm Beaming.

"I get my energy from my inner G

I be in outer space, but I got inner peace.

So tell my enemies that they can't injure me

I know that irritates, you have my sympathies.

Well, you should protest, yeah, you should picket me

I'm on a losing strike, I'm on a winning streak.

I'm out in left field, I'm speakin' mentally

But that's a better place than where the benches be."

summer snow.

Tomorrow is JH Retreat. I am excited, but at the same time sad because I know how quickly it's going to end. The next two weeks will probably fly by without ever slowing down. Time really does fly when you're having fun.

Since bombing my finals, I've watched 4 movies. Law Abiding Citizen, Up, District 9, & (500) Days of Summer. I'd have to say the best one out of the four was (500). Summer's (Zooey Deschanel) personality in the movie could not have matched what I want in an "ideal girl" more perfectly. Being blunt, not afraid to make a fool of herself, being spontaneous in the situation she's been put in are all traits that were very appealing to me and close to near perfection in my criteria. Also, I cannot picture a more perfect way to start talking to a girl, than to have her compliment your choice in music. Right off the bat, there's an immediate connection and something to talk about. I can only dream...

Thinking about all this has led me to devote what I write in this blog, to be about girls. Not just lusting or fantasizing, but analyzing and "opinionating" on various situations involving females. (Barney Stinson had little influence on this haha.) Of course I will write about other things on the side, but this will be the main headline of what I write about on this site. I'm going to make this blog useful in the future unlike my old xanga.

I'll begin once I get back. Cheers to you, blogspot.

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, fuck you, whore."

fail.

Last night was...fail. I don't think I've ever been so frustrated, irritated, and pissed off at a church event. How do you come at 6:45 to start setting up for an event when it's supposed to start at 6:30? You invite all those churches and you can't even come at LEAST an hour before to set up and make sure everything's going to run smoothly? And on top of that, you can't even get anything to work properly. Never witnessed such an unorganized event in my life. If anyone's wondering, I'm not talking about Jubilee's Pastors or anyone of that sort. I'm talking about the adults that were handling the lyrics, slideshow, and all the technical stuff. Screw them. All of the praise team's hard work was put to waste thanks to them.

But on a lighter note, Michael Franzese was awesome. Didn't think he'd be as good of a speaker as he was. I haven't been that interested in a speaker's story/sermon in a long time and that man really knows what he's talking about. Great speaker, horrible staff.

Random note: I'm getting the best Christmas present this year, Ever.

the redeemed.

New Album! Alicia Keys - The Element of Freedom. She is seriously, so hot and so talented. Her last album, As I Am, was really good and this album is just as awesome. Also, the best covers/remixes out there right now have to be from Glee. They're so good. Rachel Berry's voice is AWESOME despite her annoying facial features, but her voice makes up for it and transforms her into a cutie somehow.

This Friday is Jubilee's Praise Night/Rally. Yours truly, is lucky enough to play in the band along with Jeea, Christina, Josh, and Henry. The guest speaker is Michael Franzese and his story is pretty crazy. I hope a lot of kids come out willing to listen and worship. I know back when I was in high school, I didn't go to these kinds of things looking to change my life but only to see friends and girls. A bit naive now that I look back. It makes me start to think about where I would be in my life right now if I just went into some of those praise nights with an open mind and the willingness to listen/learn. Probably a completely different place as a completely different person. God could've possibly moved in me back then and led me down a different path but I chose not to. Crazy how the smallest things can make such an impact on one's future. I don't regret anything though cause God has everything planned out. But hopefully, at least some kids won't make the same mistake I did when I was younger.

On a less serious note, I absolutely love the way Jeea and Christina lead worship. It's the same style they use at IHOP (International House of Prayer) in Kansas City and Jesus Culture. It's just so...free. No structure really, but saying, singing, yelling, screaming, whatever you want to tell God in the way you are most comfortable. And let me tell you right now, Jeea has one of the purest voices I've ever listened to. She is the Awesome. We will be playing this song below and I immediately fell in love with it as I played it for the first time. Check it out and come to the rally! Worship starts at 6:30. I REPEAT, 6:30. Come earlier if you'd like to mingle with friends haha.

Hillsong - We the Redeemed

back2back.

A little late on this one due to excitement over my new phone as written in the previous post, but we were VICTORIOUS once again in the annual HighSchool Turkey Bowl. After all that hard work of preparing and practicing, it all paid off. I feel like I've received too much praise about how good of a job I did, but it seriously could not have been done without all the kids. They went through a lot the day of the tournament. From collisions with other players, to getting tackled and thrown down by two bitch ass oompa loompa twins from Orange County that I swear on my life I will deep fry their babies if they touch my kids again.

All in all, we won...again. Back to Back. Repeat. Whatever you want to call it. We did it. I love them.

All Day, Everyday.

eris.

The day I met you, I knew there was something special. The way we locked eyes and immediately there was a bond no earthly thing could extinguish. Who knew a man could fall for something so fast at the first glimpse of your beauty. The way you slid into my jeans without hesitation could make any man's fantasies come true. You're tall, skinny, and curved, but not only are you beautiful on the outside, but the inside as well. When I'm lost, you'll guide me home. When I'm bored, you'll entertain me. When we travel, you'll capture images of the memories that we'll cherish forever. What more could a man ask for?

My infatuation for you is an endless love. 'Til death do us part, Eris.

eargasm.

Many good albums have been released recently. Here are some of my faves at the moment. I need a new iPod.

OneRepublic - Waking Up / Owl City - Ocean Eyes

Switchfoot - Hello Hurricane / Hillsong - Faith + Hope + Love

Turkey Bowl this Saturday. I'm nervous but anxious at the same time. Sad that I can't participate this year, but I'm confident in my team to defend what's ours, the Championship Trophy.

"All Day, Everyday"

David "Shorty" Kim is back from Afghanistan. Time to destroy my liver. Patron shots and BeerPong anyone?

vivid.

I don't even remember the last time I saw you, but the news I just heard from my grandparents just gave me a vivid picture of you. Praying for you everyday.

I miss you, Dad.

boiling point.

You are fucking annoying. You may not be an actual hoe, but you think like one. Your constant need for attention makes me want to go to Compton wearing a KKK cloak and start screaming "Nigger!" Go fuck yourself. Watch what you say to me cause if you say one wrong thing or give me one wrong look, I will make you cry so much that you'll want to gauge your own eyes out to stop the tears.

Excuse my language, but I've reached my boiling point. Good thing no one really reads my blog. I'll probably delete this post later.

bandwagon.

Okay, finally, after all that resisting, I've finally accepted Taylor Swift into my life. Her songs are very catchy and she does have a nice voice. Her long, blonde, curly hair still looks incredibly fake to me...but it's hot. Her SNL episode was pretty hilarious especially her monologue. I guess I really do have a thing for tall, long haired, skinny girls. Her face looks like a bunny. I love bunnies.

I just dl'd John Mayer's new album Battle Studies and it is the Awesome. Much better than Continuum and I would recommend it to everybody. There's a song on the album called Perfectly Lonely and the lyrics could not fit how I feel any better than this..

"I see friends around from time to time

When their ladies let them slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say

Nothing to do, Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do, No one to be
Is it really hard to see

Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong"

I realized yesterday, I can be a real dick. I don't try to, but I don't try not to. Honestly, half the people that I'm a dick to I really couldn't give two shits about them. As I'm getting older, I'm starting to see which so called "friends" are going to benefit me in the future. Parents always told us to make good friends and I'm really starting to see how important it is to surround yourself with good people. So many useless and annoying people in my life that are always complaining or venting to me about their problems. They don't realize that I don't give a shit. But that's my fault I guess since I don't say anything. I have my own problems to worry about. No I'm not selfish.

On a lighter note, the drama IRIS is really really good. I've only watched up to about episode 5 because I can't find subtitles for the rest but man, it's awesome. It has so much action and not to mention the beauty of Kim Tae Hee helps a lot too. She hasn't aged AT ALL since the last time I saw her which was like four years ago. In the drama, she cannot get any hotter. She's cute when she cooks, cute when she eats, cute when she cries, cute when she's mad, cute in the morning, cute when drinking, and cute without MAKE-UP. Can you say perfect? And since when in Korean dramas did they start allowing full make-outs. No more extreme hugging or puppy kissing? I'm probably just jealous of the Lee Byung Hun. Nice upgrade Korea. It's about time. You're only about decade late. Here's the cutie

kitkat.

I should be finishing my take-home midterm right now, but I need a damn break.

NBA SEASON IS FINALLY HERE! All the anticipation for this upcoming season was well worth it. Lakers started off with a win on their Championship Ring Night. The smile on Kobe's face was so contagious that it made my whole family sit there grinning at the TV. I may not know Kobe personally, but man do I respect the guy. Not only is he the best at what he does, but works harder than anyone to BE the best at what he does. I just read today that other superstars in the league, such as Dwayne Wade, have a picture up in their workout room of Kobe to motivate them. That's just crazy. And a bit gay. No-homo. I wish I had his work ethic. Hard work ethic brings home little goodies such as this...

I just realized that lately most of the people that I talk to, minus Julie haha, have some sort of girl/boy problem. Seriously though when they tell me about it along with all of their problems and insecurities, I laugh in my head. Maybe out loud for some. People don't want to get hurt and that's obvious. To me they're just digging themselves a bigger hole thinking they found the so called "treasure" only making it harder to get out. They think they've landed on the "X" on their first try, but they haven't even SEEN the whole map. It's an "X" for a reason...cause they're going to BE your Ex. My treasure will be marked with an "O" haha. I learned the hard way and I guess you could say I learned from my mistakes and so will the friends that I talk to. That's a part of life I guess.

For the people stuck in those deep holes, I would play 99 Problems by Jay-Z for them on the ground above and walk away listening to Just Friends by Musiq Soulchild. Nice guys finish last.

shoe strings.

So an update on the recent girl that I met, she is ridiculous. What started out as innocent commenting on Facebook, is now complete annoyance. We started talking on AIM, she then asked for my number, texted, and then she CALLS me. All of this happened within 24 hours. I mean what kind of girl calls the guy first? Isn't that breaking girl code? I know it's breaking some kind of code and seriously, haven't been more turned off in my life. Didn't think someone cute could be so ugly within that short time frame. Even Barney wouldn't hit that. Ugh...clingers.

"Can't tie me down like a pair of shoe strings."

aimless thoughts.

Food always tastes better late-night. Current addiction: Choco Pie.

Just when I started to believe that relationships weren't my cup of tea I meet a cute, real girl. I refuse to succumb to her sweet words of temptation. "She ain't gon' tie me down."

My Professor showed us this video today. To think that the world could end like this is a bit scary but, enthralling.

I can't remember the last time I felt this way, but the other day I thought of you. I miss you...

"I don't want to say good bye to you, so I'll just say good night to you." - Kanye West

fix you.

Song of the day, Fix You by Coldplay. This song never gets old and the meaning behind this song inspires me. Chris Martin wrote these lyrics for his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, after her father passed away. She came home from the hospital covered and drenched in tears. He started crying and asked her, "What can I do for you? Tell me how I can help." She looked up at him, and said "Just hold me, cause you're the only thing that can fix me right now." He wrote these lyrics the next day...

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you